Rachel Ellyn

aka The Disfunctional Diva

Life and loves after the career.


With degrees in Finance and Economics, Rachel found wonderful success in the business world, which took her I.T. and financial process consulting international. However, with her mind focused on business, and with the lack of training and mentoring in her personal life, marriage success eluded her.


After foraging on a path of self-awareness and exploration with a determination to avoid repeating patterns again, she found the key to relationship bliss. Now, combining her passion for writing and storytelling with her skills, knowledge, and drive that led to her business acclaim, Rachel shares her off beat take on the world, and her findings where life, love, divorce, and children are concerned.


Rachel is determined to be a publicist's nightmare by writing in multiple genres including children’s fiction, flash fiction, romance, and suspense/thriller.


After multiple divorces, she is now happily married and lives in the Kansas City Metropolitan area enjoying the household noise of her soon-to-be empty nest.

writ・er  / 'raitǝr

- noun

1. a peculiar organism capable of transforming caffeine into books.

Don’t Diss My Dis!


Please by no means read my writing or look at my moniker and think I harbor any dislike or hatred for my upbringing or my life. I love my dysfunction. I believe everyone has it in their life and in their family. I choose to see the humor in mine, and in the lives of those around me. I loved my childhood. It made me “me”.

Yes, there have been parts of my life that have been dark, and even disturbing. But I have lived through them. Those periods or incidents are what have given me my depth and my ability to have empathy with most others. They have given me my humor, my strength, my courage, and my ability to see BS.

I choose to wake up every morning and know to the depth of my soul it will be a great day. I choose to bounce out of bed with a smile on my face and an excitement in my step. I choose to live everyday in the watchful eyes of my children. I see amazing things for them in their lives. And I choose to try everyday to bring love and joy into their worlds; to try to give them depth of character without having to experience the dark and destruction it took for me to get mine.

I want only light and happiness in their lives. I know this is a dream as it is every mother’s dream for their children. I also know some dark will fall into their lives, I would be a fool to think otherwise but I hope that I have imparted the knowledge that I am there as their mom, their confident, their advisor, and one person who will give them unconditional love for all their lives.

My life has been and continues to be an amazing adventure by my choice! I want their lives to be that and so much more.

I have never lived my life in “Safe Mode”, but now I am choosing “Legendary”!

So move out of my way, I have dysfunction to play with!

You are never too old to set another goal or  to dream a new dream ~ C. S. Lewis

So where did all this start?

Family members have told me since college “you should write a column like Erma” . . . Erma Bombeck that is.

I would look at them like they were crazy, which in my family is not far off the mark, and continue to write letters and then emails keeping everyone up to date on where in the world I was and what the hell I was doing.  (I can hear my late aunt’s voice now asking my mother, “What the hell’s Rach doing now?”)

One day I woke up, and I needed to write. There was this little story inside my head. Really, it was a character, and try as I might this little character’s (the Dust Bunny) story just couldn’t get out of my head.

Years later, a few months after starting my third divorce, it felt as if there were a ton of ping pong balls bouncing in my head, each one a story, bouncing around trying to escape. I picked up a pen and started to write every story as it bounced into my head.  That was the birth of The Disfunctional Diva website. A little place to hold all my flash fiction – my little stories – for all the world to see … whether anyone else read them or not.

I had already written and animated Basic Money Management 101 as a business endeavor. Which, by the way, is used in a number of Kansas and Missouri schools and was also picked up by KSU for incoming freshman orientation. But, that summer while driving my kids to camp, the story of the Dust Bunny -Louie Fights the Night – finally wrote itself in my head. How To Train A Woman, my second book was published August 2011.  A first for this little girl!

So why do I write?


  • I write to be less BLONDE! I figure the more stories I get out of my head, the more memory and processing power my brain will have.

  • I believe you gain immortality by the stories you create in someone’s life. And if you can teach this person to be a great story teller you shall live on forever.


“When I stand before God at the end of my life,  I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.”  Erma Bombeck


My first Disfunctional Diva story . . .  How Did I Get Here?

May 4th, 2009

So how did we get to this point in our lives that we wonder why we are still half sane?

I'm 48 and working on wrapping up my third divorce. I have three kids. Oh, to be able to say one from each husband would be so white trash wonderful, but really one is from #1 ex husband, and two are from #2 ex husband. My third soon-to-be ex is, I guess, maybe my cougar experiment.

I'm college educated. I have lived all over the country as well as internationally – of my own doing, not following a man or his career. It was always my career or my desire to venture forth to what looked like green grass. Now, I am finally trying to learn how to grow where I am planted, or at least where my kids want to be planted. Damn their little social lives! And at this point in my life worrying about my retirement savings trumps paying for counseling for the kids because da Mama wanted to run away to somewhere new. Maybe this is what becoming a responsible adult feels like. Yuck!

Really, my kids are incredible. Watching them grow up has been a great insight for me to see where each piece of my own disfunction derives from. Quite interesting. Sort of like performing your own surgery in a MASH unit. I might not have all the tools to fix the damage perfectly, but I can correct the damage just enough to pass muster. And if I can keep the scars to a minimum I might just be able to wear a bikini!



now, go buy my books!  xoxoxoxo